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Quotes 7The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.
if you can't drink and drive, why do bars even have parking lots?
girls are like phones: we love to be held, talked to. but if you press the worng button you'll be disconnected
a friend will take you to CVS to buy a pregnancy test. A BEST FRIEND WILL STAND OUTSIDE THE BATHROOM SCREAMING "NAME IT AFTER ME!!"
Remember all the times we rode in my car and i almost killed you? thanks for still being my friend
i swear to god i have a tattoo on my forehead that only guys can see and it reads "i like assholes"! how do i get rid of the damn thing!?
quit bugging me, almost to level 68...
99% Angel(but oh, that 1%...)
one time i tried to be normal, but i got bored so i went back to being me
i'm not 40 something. i'm $39.95 plus shipping and handling
that which does not kill me, had better run pretty damn fast.
Don't Hit Kids. no. seriously. they have guns now
knowing my luck, if there is such a thing as reincarnation i'll come back a
Quotes 61. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics'
Quotes 5if u throw skittles at me and say "taste the rainbow" ill throw m&m's at u and say "im not afraid"
Girls suffer from PMS, periods, cramps, child-birth, menopause, shaving, plucking, makeup dilemmas and high heels. Men get hairy then complain when they go bald. WTF?
So... the elephant says to the camel "Why do you have 2 boobs on your back?"
The camel replies "That's a pretty stupid question coming from someone who has a dick on his face."
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
When all else fails, read the instuctions
There is a difference between an open mind and a hole in the head
On the other hand, you have different fingers
How many of you believe in psycho kinesis?...Raise my hand
OK...so what's the speed of dark?
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Life isn't like a box of chocolates....it's more like a jar of jalapeno's
I'm on a mission to save the
Quotes 4Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
When i Get Bored i have to annoy someone.
I have to sing the ABC's to know which letter comes before the other
to wave at security cameras
Shes like my sister. You hurt her, ill hurt you.
www.fa --> ahhh internet, you know me so well
Love makes the world go round? Not at all. Whiskey makes it go round twice as fast.
what's wrong with her face?!
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
Where's Kanye when my parents are giving me a long ass speech?
''LET'S STAY UP ALL NIGHT!'' ''YEAH!'' *sleeps at 12*
i was blown away when i realized the word ? OK ? is a side ways person.
When ever thing goes slow motion when your falling
Save the trees, eat a beaver.
I had something really important to tell you... but i forgot
Saying YOUR WELCOME really loudly when people don't thank you
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More